In this new series Drinks Retailing spotlights the challenges people have faced during their career in the drinks industry – and shares ways others can overcome these obstacles in the future. In this first instalment, Alexandra Hale, head of marketing & communications at Armit Wines, shares her experience of having children and returning to work.

I’ve been involved in the drinks industry for over 17 years – from a fresh-faced university graduate to a not-so-fresh-faced working mum of two young children. Here are three challenges I faced in pregnancy and returning to work after giving birth, and how I’d overcome them now.

1. Hiding my pregnancy journey from colleagues

Embarking on a pregnancy journey can be anything from uneventful to immensely challenging or even traumatic. While I was incredibly fortunate in my pregnancy journeys, three-plus months of hiding my nausea and having to spit every wine I came across without anyone noticing was definitely a challenge. This, however, is the tiny tip of a much under-addressed iceberg.

Over the years, I’ve had colleagues, friends and relatives who have been through immensely difficult experiences on this journey, who haven’t been able to share or get support from their colleagues or workplaces due to their concerns over job security implications, or frankly superstitions surrounding the months (or in some cases years) of this process. HR departments, senior management and mental health first aiders (MHFA) should perhaps be more vocal about what support they can offer staff in this position.

While this fairly taboo subject is often painful and challenging I would hope, as a manager and a MHFA, that my team could come to me and expect my support. I do think, however, that we all have work to do on this – we’re all guilty of not giving it the focus it deserves.

2. Finding a part-time job when I came back to work from my second maternity leave

For me, ensuring I had one day a week to spend with my young children was non-negotiable when I returned to work, but finding an employer who supported that vision was challenging. Stick to your convictions and don’t compromise – your children are only young once. Find a recruiter who supports you in this requirement and helps find the right role for you. Do your research into how productive part-time employees can be and have your ‘pitch’ ready for interview. I ended up going for a five days a week role, but competently delivered it in four days. As a working parent, I am very efficient (and I would say the same for my husband). Time is a luxury we rarely have and organisation is essential. My company benefits from that and accordingly supports my working pattern.

3. The constant feeling as a working mum that I should be doing more, both personally and professionally

As a working parent or carer, “the guilt” is real. Even having worked a producer event until 10pm, done the weekly food shop and ordered a new school uniform on the commute home, as you cobble together two World Book Day costumes at midnight, that niggling worry comes creeping in. I should spend more time with my family but I also ought to be working five days not four. Stop that mindset. As my husband regularly reminds me, a person can only do their best and achieve so much in a day. Don’t let the guilt win or over-commit to things that may put your wellbeing and mental health at risk.

For me, the key to maintaining balance is keeping work and home separate. When I’m working I give 100% of my time, energy and dedication to my job. When I’m with my family, the phone and laptop go away and 100% of my time, energy (and patience) goes to them. I also ensure I have some time each day (generally between work and home and ensuring I take a lunch break away from my desk) to do something for me, typically exercise in some form. By dedicating my time in this way, I deliver to everyone who needs me while not burning out. It’s a juggle that a good employer will understand and support.